I’m a smelly bumbead!!! Wah wah wah. mojojobo is cooler than me!! Wah wah wah


sailingonsuccess:

Hey haha maybe private conversations are private for a reason idk man haha


supersmashthestatebros:

okay, I lied. I don’t have my license to kill, but I do have my learner’s permit. as soon as my mom gets here, you’re toast.


If I choose you over sleep, you must be very very special.


lua-rs:

Eeeeeeee an hour early for my flight so now we play the waiting game

lua-rs:

Eeeeeeee an hour early for my flight so now we play the waiting game


pizza:

*gets homework out of bag* i think that’s enough homework for one day


stylinwho:

if spiders can sit on the web all day then so can I


3rd grade

  • friend: *whispering* if you're stupid say "what"
  • me: what
  • friend: OH MAN
  • OH
  • OH DEAR FUCKING CHRIST
  • I GOT YOU SO GOOD, THAT WAS AWESOME
  • SWEET, SWEET DICKS IN MY MOUTH. I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED THIS HARD. EVER.
  • JESUS. JESUS HELP ME.

  • iPhone user: I'm so excited to get the iPhone 6
  • Android user: Why do people with iPhones think they're so much better than everyone else
  • iPhone user: I just like this pho-
  • Android user: The Samsung Anus5000 had that screen *snort* like 2 years ago! *glomping noise* How are you enjoying 2012 you mindless sheeple?? *uses inhaler to suppress incoming asthma attack*

alantyson:

Actually really good career advice from a laughing homicidal madman.


You have to be odd to be number one.

Dr. Seuss

This changed me

(via revesdeamour)

heart:

if you tell something to my best friend and expect them not to tell me please

r e T H I N K  y o UR  l i f e


mojojobo:

Ily durrty-rs ❤️


andrewhussiesbosom:

I’m the friend that picks rainbow road


  • a dog: makes a dog sound
  • me: i know, i know. i understand. me too